Figuratively adopt a wild animal pet: The funniest list and gifts

Adopt wild animal pet funniest list gifts graphic on Absurd American. Copyright Lucky Vetiver


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Solid Reasons to Figuratively Adopt a Wild Animal Pet:

Fear commitment, but want to feel warm and fuzzy inside?
Forge a minimal relationship that makes you feel good about yourself! 

Like pets but don’t like mess? Do a good thing with no mess, no stress, and no responsibility. Cuddle the plush toy they send you and have the best of both worlds.

Want to get closer to wild animals in a safe, humane way? Now you can take care of them without worrying about your furniture. These Adoption Kits full of goodies make things real enough without complications.

Or, you know, just get these amazing gifts cause you care about animals. 

In all seriousness, it’s more than a symbolic gesture because you’re supporting a majestic creature in need. Plus, these are entertaining gifts and great conversation starters. 


Sometimes we want to gift for a good cause. But we don’t want the gift to be boring.

It should be exciting, not disappointing when you open a present. 

Most donations you give, or receive as a gift, just come with some words on a card. That makes it hard to feel connected to the cause. We want to relate with those we’re helping and be reminded of how awesome it is to give back. Oh, and to actually hug something.

The World Wildlife Fund to the rescue! They found a brilliant solution. With their symbolic adoption, your donation comes with a full Adoption Kit that makes the best gift hands down. 

For helping animals out, each Adoption Kit comes with: A stuffed animal plush toy, a photo you can frame or hang on the fridge, an adoption certificate, a species card, and a gift box or bag.

Pick your spirit animal, or the species your friend is obsessed with. Get your mom the Butterfly Kit because it’s so much better than a last minute gift card you snag on the way to her party. Find the most fugly adorable species and treat yourself while saving wildlife. 

So here’s a dilemma I ran into that I’m hoping to take care of for you.
They have TONS of animals to look through and they don’t all have the stuffed animal kit…

I sorted out great picks with kits – by category – and included funny yet helpful descriptions. I hope this makes the process fun and easy to find exactly what you’re looking for. 


BIRDS – Adopt a Macaw or an Owl!

> Snowy Owl, Barn Owl – Harry Potter is not the only one who deserves this.
> Emerald Hummingbird – The delicate darlings of the bird world. Hug a replica while saving them from the perils of an early frost.
> Eagle – America adopted this bird. It’s your civic duty to follow suit.
> Woodpecker – Woody would be proud of you.
> Blue-footed Booby, Red-footed Booby – nuff said.
> Macaw – A beautiful, colorful stuffed animal to cherish. And the bird’s nice too.
> California Condor – Adopting a vulture might seem strange, but then again, what doesn’t these days.

> Vampire Bat – Look, it flies. If you prefer Twilight over Hunger Games just go for it.


WILD CATS – Adopt a Siberian Tiger! 

> Lion, Lion Cub – You really wanna help Simba? Symbolically adopt him.
> Cougar – The well-aged wine of wild cats.
> Ocelot – Bigger than house cats. Symbolic adoption is the only way to save your furniture.
> Amur Tiger – The Siberian, gold standard of stripes.
> Snow Leopard, Amur Leopard – Pick your pussycat.
> Cheetah – A motivational gift for a runner.
> Serval – Teach your friends a new vocabulary word.
> Fossa – This is a mongoose cat. I know…
> Black Jaguar – A black cat.
> Ringtail – A squirrel meets a raccoon and the rest is history.


ELEPHANT / RHINO / HIPPO – Adopt a Baby Elephant!

> African Elephant, Calf, Pygmy Elephant – We can’t bring Manny back. We can save Dumbo.
> African Rhino, Calf – The perfect pet if you love mud baths.
> Hippopotamus – They are hungry, hungry hippos. The least you can do is feed them.


MONKEYS / APES – Adopt a Capuchin Monkey!

> Capuchin Monkey – Want to be a pirate like Johnny Depp? Take the first step. 
> Emperor Tamarin – Just look at him!
> Female Orangutan – Endangered. Endearing. Orange.
> Gorilla – A smaller version of King Kong. 


REPTILES – Adopt Turtle Hatchlings!

> Giant Tortoise – Not just a tortoise, a giant one. Love this plushy.
> Hawksbill Bale Turtle – Aww. A set of 3 hatchlings coming out of their shells!
> Loggerhead Turtle – It’s a turtle. White with orange spots.
> Anaconda – Do you have a kid obsessed with snakes? It’s not really a choice, is it. 
> Komodo Dragon – Real big lizard for you lizard lovers. 
> Frog – You’re a hop, skip and a jump away from having a frog on your refrigerator. One of the best plushes of the pack! 


FOX / WOLF – Adopt a Red Fox!

> Darwin’s Fox – My favorite fox, check him out.
> Red Fox – The classic fox.
> Arctic Fox – The “you can’t see me because it’s snowing” fox.
> Gray Wolf – Probably your spirit animal. He’s a must see.


BUGS – Adopt a Bee or a Tarantula!

> Honeybee – As seen in documentaries: Adopt a bee, and save the planet!
> Monarch Butterfly – A dainty alternative to birds and vampire bats.  
> Ladybug – Not as endangered, but hey, you do you ladybug lady.
> Tarantula – Does your kid want a crazy, scary spider? Do the next best thing. 


LLAMAS and More – Adopt a Camel!

> Llama – While everyone’s busy “putting a llama on it” you will be SAVING llamas. 
> Zebra – To me, cooler than horses. 
> Giraffe – That tall guy at the party everyone wants to talk to. 
> Okapi – This is amazing. A forest giraffe with zebra striped legs.
> Przewalski’s Horse – Okay, this is a pretty cool horse. Once considered extinct!
> Bactrian Camel – A picture of your pet camel on the wall. Now that’s a statement.
> Musk Ox – A long haired cow that smells. Obviously there is a toy for this.  
> Bison Calf – Okay, she’s too cute not to cuddle.  


RABBITS / RODENTS – Adopt a Jerboa!

> Pygmy Rabbits – Don’t wait till Easter to celebrate bunnies.
> Jerboa – Tired of regular ol’ rabbits? Try a Jerboa. He’s off the cute scale, I swear.
> Ring-tailed Lemur – Orange eyes anyone? This plushy makes an epic gift.


BEARS – Adopt a Panda or Polar Bear!

> Panda – So cute and clumsy. Adopt one so they can chew bamboo forever.
> Polar Bear – White Christmas wrapped up in a bear. Santa’s real helpers.  
> Grizzly Bear – The iconic American bear. Protect them and bear hug your plush toy, with no fear of mauling.


MARSUPIALS – Adopt a Tasmanian Devil!

> Koala Bear – It’s not technically a bear and I don’t care.
> Wallaby – Who doesn’t love tiny kangaroos. I sure do. 
> Tasmanian Devil – Bring back your cartoon glory days. People will see this strange thing on your couch and be like, “What’s that?” and you’ll be like, “It’s Taz!” 


WHALES – Adopt a Narwhal or an Orca!

> Narwhal – The unicorns of the sea exist and you can have one. 
> Beluga Whale – This white arctic plushy will look right at home in an igloo. 
> Orca – Free Willy. (I didn’t have to but I did.)
> Blue Whale – A beast of a whale. And one of my favorite toys in the kit. 


SHARKS – Adopt a Hammerhead!

> Hammerhead Shark – Talk about wearing your personality on your sleeve head.
> Leopard Shark – A leopard print shark, yes please. 
> Great White Shark – The ubiquitous great white, only frightening when you’re injured and drowning. 


FISH and More – Adopt an Octopus!

> Octopus – Eight arms to hug you back with. 
> Seahorse – A horse that swims. Win win. 
> Sockeye Salmon – A neon colored, somewhat terrifying stuffed animal.
> Duck-billed Platypus – Say it three times fast then adopt one. 


PENGUINS – Adopt a Baby Penguin Chick!

> Gentoo Penguin – A white, black, orange plushy. Can you hear Morgan Freeman? I can. 
> Chinstrap Penguin – Save this penguin and get a gray and white plushy!
> Emperor Penguin Chick – This one is so pudgy and adorable.


DOLPHINS and More – Adopt a Walrus!

> Dolphin – They’re smart, they speak, they have blowholes… what more could you ask for? 
> Walrus – Tusks and a mustache. 
> Harbor Seal – No mustache. 


AWESOME PICKS – Adopt Wolverine or a Sloth!

> Two-toed Sloth, Slow Loris – Lethargic wild animals to binge series after series with.
> Wolverine – The ultimate X-Men pet. 
> Warthog – They’re like the Willow movie but real. Also, Pumbaa. 
> Hedgehog – Sonic fans you’ve found your spirit animal. He’s worth a look!

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