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Let’s face it, shopping for gifts can be a time suck. And a chore. You start off excited to grab some great stuff, or at least you’re on a mission to snag what you need, and then 3 hours of clicking pass and you end up in some strange sector of the webosphere without a clue how you got there.
This happens to the best of us. The infamous click hole to nowhere. We’ve all been there, narrowly escaping with our lives. Or upon returning from the twilight zone, realizing that something’s not quite right, something’s out of whack. I was searching for a baseball cap once. I ended up with a dozen slap bracelets and years had passed. Slap bracelets weren’t even cool anymore. I was devastated.
Enough with the sharing.
So how do we solve this quagmire?
Simple: A trusty gift guide.
With a Trusty Gift Guide – You’ve suddenly got super powers to:
- Slay analysis paralysis.
- Snuff out boredom.
- Destroy procrastination with powerful lasers.
- Avoid browsing burnout.
- Have fun. Yippee!
- Live forever, maybe.
- Save time: Buy cool gifts and get on with your life.
Still not convinced?
A gift guide is the Yoda of presents.
Why not use the force?
It’s not cheating, it’s deferring to an expert.
You know the easiest way to find a needle in a haystack? A lightsaber.
A gift guide is the Dungeon Master with a magical merch torch.
He illuminates the path, so you can spot awesome items while avoiding pit traps.
Without a guide honestly Dungeons and Dragons would suck, and so does online shopping.
Yes, you can still choose to deviate from the path but viable options are at your fingertips. Take the rope, half-orc!
A gift guide is the life coach who keeps your browsing and buying on point.
She does not have a whistle, but she makes up for this by offering a curated list of eye candy specially made to meet your goals. Now that she’s got you motivated with your eye on the prize, you can focus on the meaning of life by asking yourself the toughest question of all time: Does this spark joy?
Or this question:
Will they be amused or pissed off by this present?
Or this question:
I think this gift is hilarious. They’ve gotta find it funny, right?
But if they don’t find it funny, where will they find it… is it a dark, disturbing place? Are public bathrooms available there and are the public bathrooms clean? Am I overanalyzing? Maybe I should just give them a gift card to Applebee’s. It’s safe but it’s sure not exciting. Does that spark joy or heartburn? You know what, an inflatable giraffe is a grand gesture. I’m going for it.
Why Absurd American Gift Guides?
You want an enjoyable experience, not a drag.
When you find an entertaining and trusted source for unique gifts, you’ve got the golden ticket. No more click holes to hell and back. No more boring scrolling.
If you’ve ever been overwhelmed with decision paralysis – a reliable, go-to list of gifts will set you free. It makes finding the perfect gift easy. It might not part the Red Sea, but you can treat yourself, loved ones and coworkers to epic and original products while partaking in a fun activity.
The best gift guides are like shopping butlers.
They serve all the great stuff to you on a platter, and they keep the good stuff coming. We’re talking superior products worth buying, or at least worth laughing at.
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